A Very Scary Day

So let me put it out there first that I am pretty sure I am okay now.

Thursday morning all was well. I actually had a little burst of energy and had the floors vacuumed before even taking the boys to school. I was talking to Ben about his night at work as I was mopping the floor. All the sudden I got dizzy. This isn't real unusual. I thought I would just stand still for a minute and it would pass like usual. It didn't. I laid down getting even dizzier. Then my right side started going numb! My ENTIRE right side! I was scared. Ben was scared. We thought I was having a stroke. He called 911 and they were there in just a few minutes. (Nice to know they have great response time.)

I was pretty annoyed while at the hospital because it didn't seem like they were doing anything. Which they weren't. I kept getting nauseated and they were treating that but didn't seem to care that I couldn't feel my entire right side! Kept asking me to walk to places for tests. Thier communication was HORRIBLE. Let me just put it out there that it was NOT Tripler. It was the local hospital in Ewa. Finally after a few hours I could feel tingling again. They took blood, ran a CT scan and everything came back clear. Just an odd migraine. The migraine then continued for about 2 days! My poor husband! Thank goodness he was off, sleep deprived but off. He took care of the boys and I was worthless for 2 days. Thank you baby!

The scary part to me is that there was no warning. What would I have done if Ben wasn't here? I have to see my doctor Monday to get a referral to neuro. I am also going to go to a chiropractor. My neck has always had alignment issues from an accident when I was young.

The other concerning part is that I am having some memory issues. I am opening the wrong cabinets in my own kitchen. Can't remember names of people I see regularly. Not sure if my brain is just taking time to recover but it worries me. I actually noticed some memory things prior to this event but now it is much worse. I just started having migraines in July so not even sure of what triggered them. Think I am going to insist on a full look over. I will keep you all posted.

Happy Birthday Dad!

It is my Dad's birthday tomorrow!!!

Let me just explain how lucky I am to have this man, Anthony Stahlhut, as my Dad.

I have spent my entire life living hundreds of miles away from him. Still he taught me how to really love someone. I knew no matter what I did that he would be there to support me every step of the way. There is nothing I could do that would change the way he felt about me. I think that is an amazing gift. To have a father with such a kind and generous heart. He is loved by so many. All his11 grandchildren adore him.

It amazes me that I am so much like him. I look like him. I am hard headed like he is. :) We love with all we have. I am proud to be like my Dad. He is an extremely talented poet! If only he had past that talent down to me! ;)

I love you so much! Don't you ever forget that! You are amazing!

Happy Birthday Dad!!!

Where has all the time gone?

It is unreal to me that we are already in November. This year has flown by!

What we have been up to...

The boys have had a little break from sports, with the exception of Karate. Blake is now a purple belt! Blake and Hunter will both start basketball in January. They LOVE to just run around outside with all of their neighborhood friends! There are times that I barely see them other than to check in. It reminds me so much of when I was a kid.

Parker is growing WAY to quickly. His little attitude is getting bigger and bigger! He has mastered using the word "NO". I also get pretty tired of Mommy, Daddy, and Bubbie! If he doesn't get his way, he will scream at you. He is crazy rough and already wrestles hard with the older boys. The biggest problem is that it is almost impossible to be stern with him because you can't help but to laugh. He is hilarious. And if he doesn't make you laugh, he will melt your heart with his adorable grin. :)

Ben has been busy. He is now on the flight team. Hasn't gone on his first mission yet, but has completed the training for it. Ben will also start picking up extra shifts at a local hospital. Being in the ICU, he feels like he is loosing his trauma skills. He wants to have the experience in the ER as well. And the extra money will be nice. ;)

Speaking of money, we have officially started the Total Money Makeover. I have mixed emotions about this but for the most part I am excited. Once we sat down and really made a budget for everything, and I do mean EVERYTHING, we were surprised by how much money we waste every month. It is time to start paying off debt and building our emergency fund/savings.

I think my last blog was about my career choice. I have been excepted to Leeward Community College. There I will complete the prerequisites that I need to enter the Occupational Therapy Masters Program. They do not offer the program here so I just want to be ready when we move back to the mainland. I am really excited to FINALLY be working towards something. I register next Friday, so I really hope I get the classes I need.

What is coming up? A MOVE!!! We are finally #2 on the housing list! We are hoping to move sometime next month. This will save us a lot of money. Not looking forward to the move, but I am excited about being closer to Ben's work and not wasting so much money on utilities.

Ben is on nights now so I should be on here a little more. I really need to update pictures!!! Talk to you soon. :)

My Career...

Before I begin, I have to say that I am finally really enjoying being at home and spending all these moments with my boys. I know that it is not a long term thing for me though. The question is...what's next?

It isn't really a good thing, or accurate, but a lot of my self worth comes from my job. At least what I see as my self worth. I like contributing to my family. I like making a difference in others' lives. I like feeling proud of what I do. I know that what I am doing is extremely important now. I am raising my boys and being sure that when our world isn't revolving around the Army, it's revolving around them. I'm really not making sense. Basically, I am okay with being home now, for a couple years. But I NEED a plan!!!

So here is where I am struggling. Nursing wasn't for me. Teaching is better as far as schedule, and my personality type. I'm such a planner. But I don't feel passionate about it. I have no desire to go back into the classroom. I miss it at times but it's not where my heart is. I want something where I can still work with a population of people I care about but different than nursing and teaching.

Occupational Therapy!

I have considered it off and on for a while now. It is what I keep coming back to. I feel like it is merging my previous professions. I can really help people but not making life and death reactions or be stuck with the same class, same students all day, every day. There are so many options: kids, adults, geriatrics, clinic, hospital or schools.

My dream job...working with wounded soldiers. That is one group that I  am very passionate about and respect tremendously!

Getting there is the hard part. I don't want to do backwards. The problem is that I can't do a masters program online because I don't have a bachelors in Health Sciences. None of the colleges here offer a degree for OT. I considered becoming an OT assistant first because the college here does have a program for it. At least it would get me into the field. Problem is they only enroll in the fall, so I can't start until next year. That doesn't leave me enough time to finish the program. :(

My plan...We are hoping to be in San Antonio next. I found a great university there with an awesome Masters program. I sent off my transcripts yesterday to get an unofficial evaluation. I am hoping I can start prerequisites soon and be ready to start the program when we move there...if we move there.

I would love some feedback. Is this a good plan? Am I crazy for switching fields again? I will keep you all posted about what I find out.

Remembering 9-11-01

This image is in our minds and hearts forever. The moment we knew we were under attack. That some purposely hit our World Trade Centers.

Watching those buildings burn was a horrific feeling. Just hoping they could somehow keep them from collapsing.

But they couldn't. The damage was too great. The buildings fell, killing so many Americans. So many mothers, fathers, brother, sisters, sons, daughters, aunts, uncles, cousins and friends...our fellow Americans.

The Pentagon being hit. Knowing there was more than one target. The fear of not knowing where the next plane was going to strike.

Heroic Flight 93. The story of how these brave people saves numerous lives. The unknown of where it would have it.

The affect this day had on our country is unbelievable in so many ways. Every emotion was there. Fear, sadness, pain, helplessness...pride, love, courage, compassion. We lost so much that day. The way that we all pulled together was amazing though.

My story:
I was 18 and babysitting at Sarah's house. I can't even tell you what I had on the TV but when the news came on I couldn't believe it. I watched the coverage for hours. When I went into work later that day I couldn't believe the panic throughout the town. No one know what to expect.

I had joined the Army in May, just before graduation. Ben joined too. Because of our MOS, we didn't leave for basic training until November. I couldn't help but wonder how this affected me and my Army commitment. Would my orders stay the same, would I have to go early, would I keep the same job. While I wanted to do something to help, the scarred part of me wondered if I could get out of it. I was already drilling with my unit in Little Rock. When I went to the next drill everything had changed. You couldn't just drive on post anymore. Still so much fear.

My time in the Army was a short 5 1/2 years. I never thought I would be living the Army life from then on. Ben and I both thought at the time we joined, that we would do our time and get out. Ben was commissioned in August 2007. Now I can't imagine our life any other way. I couldn't be more proud of my husband. I just pray that we don't have to make the ultimate sacrifice because of this war against terrorism. It breaks my heart that so many have.

Today I am going to take my family to the beach. I am going to play with them, laugh and love. That is all we can do. Remember always, and live our lives to the fullest. You never know how many moments you have left.

I am proud to be an AMERICAN!!!

(all pics except the last are from google images)

BBQs and Good Times!

I was so excited going into this weekend. Ben had a 3-day and at first we had nothing planned. Just relaxing and family time. That quickly went out the window! We ended up having something every day. The boys had soccer game Saturday and then we went over for Miss Avery's 2nd birthday party. Avery's momma was the first person here to really make me feel welcome. She is an amazing person. You know the kind of person you know you will never forget?...That's her. We had a great time and the boys had a blast as well.

Sunday Ben actually planned a BBQ!!! He never plans them. When he tries my friends end up being the only ones who show up. :( Poor guy! This one went off without one problem! His friends were wonderful and so fun! The kids all had a blast and played so well together. With the exception of our neighbor it was a great night.

Our neighbor...So a couple weeks ago we came home after having dinner with friends. It was 11pm and we went straight to bed. For over an hour her dogs did not stop barking! Ben finally went to ask her to bring her dogs in or something to get them to stop. Long story short she was very rude, called Ben a racist name and it pissed Ben off. So drunk, tired, pissed off Ben went off. He threatened the dogs and she thought he threatened her. So we called the Police to tell them what happened and about the noisy dogs.

Sunday was her payback. At 10pm she called the police because we were outside talking and that was too noisy for her. What?!?!? Stupid B!!!

Anyway...The rest of the night was a blast and thank you to everyone who came!

Monday we went to the water park in town, Wet n Wild. We met a few friends there and let the boys go wild. They were tuckered out! Afterwards we went to our other neighbors' house (the wonderfully nice ones) and ordered pizza. Just hanging out talking is my favorite thing to do. Needless to say, I loved everyday of our 3-day weekend. :)

2 more days until Maw maw comes!!!! :)

We still Exist!!!

Hello friends and family! It has been a while :) Sorry!

I really thought being a stay at home mom would give me time to do things like this more, but it DOESN'T! I guess the fact that I am not a stay at home kind of gal doesn't help. :D Very rarely is there a day that we aren't out and about doing something. So blogging, scrap booking and organizing gets neglected.

So far the boys really love their school! I have been pretty impressed with Blake's teacher. I have come to the realization that this year is pretty pointless for Hunter though. They don't expect much out of Kindergartners. :( So we will continue to work on reading at home!

We are about halfway through our soccer season. Hunter's team in undefeated and he is doing awesome! Blake's team is a MESS! There is a set of brothers and a cousin on his team. They are all over the place and do nothing but fight! I feel bad for Blake and the other players. I think we will take a couple months off from sports and start strong with T-ball in the spring. :) Unless they talk me into basketball. :/

Parker is getting so big! It amazes me how much he understands now. I'm sure most heard about his tragic trip to the ER! He went running head first into the futon. Little man had stitches underneath and then glue. It is healing really well. Just a pink line between his eyes now. :) It has been really nice getting some one-on-one with him while the boys are in school. At first he didn't know what to do without his brothers. He followed me around whining all day. Now he is getting better and learning how to play with himself when mommy is busy.

I am still trying to decided when to go back to work and what I want to do. But I guess that will play out in time. I am starting to settle in to my life now. I have started helping with my Military Moms group. I am so thankful to this group. It keeps me busy when Ben is working.

We are having a BBQ at the house this weekend. Pretty excited to people over. I LOVE hosting :) Maw maw (aka Linda) is coming on Thursday! I will let you know what kind of adventures we find! I'm going to try to stop waiting so long to blog so that I don't have so much catch up. I would rather this be a regular thing to post all our adventures and funny stories. So talk to you soon!!!

9 Years of Marriage!

In a world like ours it is so important to remember the good in your life. To be thankful for the rare things you have. I believe my marriage is extremely rare.  I will not deny for a second that we haven't made mistakes or had tough times that made us question staying together. We have had more than our share of difficult situations and stages in our life. But here we are, 9 years after committing ourselves to eachother.

How did we start out? We were friends who hung out over the summer. I didn't want anything serious because I was still heart broken over what I thought was my first love. Ben never wanted anything to tie him down...lol. We agreed to start dating just to have fun. We enjoyed eachothers company and figured it couldn't hurt. I asked him the day after we "became a couple", how long we would last. He said, "2 weeks". I was 16, he was 17. It has been a long 2 weeks!

Some amazing things to tell the grandkids:
1. We were insanely young when we started dating.

2. We joined the Army together and were in the same company in basic training. During basic we even had to fight eachother during hand to hand combat training. We completed combat medic training in the same class and even learned how to give shots and IVs on eachother! Went on to LPN training where we were married between phase 1 and phase 2.

3. Had 2 of our 3 boys while in college and neither of us ever took a semester off or took less than full time classes. What is the importance of this point? Excuses are weak. If you want something, you just have to keep working towards it.

What is so unique about our relationship? I think a lot has to do with our outlook on life. We have the same end goal. We want the same things out of life for ourselves and for our children. Ben respects my opinion and I his. When it comes to our careers, we discuss what is best for our family and then set goals for where we want to be and when. We know that we are not just lovers, we are partners...in everything.

Almost 12 years after we started dating, I still love him more and more everyday. I still see him and get butterflies. I still miss him when he is gone to work for the day. And the safest place in the world to me is right in his arms. I am incredibly proud of the man he is. I simply just love him :)

Random Catch up!

Hawaii will never get old for us. We love it here. There is so much to do that we have trouble trying to fit it all in! I know, tough problem huh? ;) We have been back to Hanauma Bay a couple times for snorkeling. The whole family has seen a turtle, except for ME!!! If fact, last weekend Ben, Blake and I were snorkeling. Blake's mask started to leak, so I took him in the fix it and to take a break. Not 2 mins later, Ben came across a turtle and was able to follow it for a while!!! So awesome!

We finally bought season tickets for Wet-N-Wild. Took the boys for the first time yesterday. They had a blast. We stayed in the 2 kids areas just about the whole time. Blake went on a few rides with us. Definitely will be seeing a lot of that place. It will be so much easier for me to take the kids there instead of the beach when Ben isn't with us. I'll take pictures next time.

I have to say that I really like Hope Chapel West Oahu! I have been to churches similar to it in the past but this one is very different in the most important ways. They are so welcoming and so real! I attended the monthly womens service last night. The message was all about working to keep your marriage strong. There is nothing in this world that I more than growing old with Ben. Making him happy everyday of his life is my life's mission. I want to raise our boys and watch their journeys together. I love hearing tips on how to do that. Sometimes we get so lost in the everyday stuff to take a step back and look at the bigger picture. So a few tips from last night: compliment each other regularly, flirt and laugh together, ask for forgiveness and give forgiveness, consider and fullfill eachother's needs.

It was really good for me to hear her message. I am so lucky. Ben and I have both made mistakes but we always hang on to our family. Everytime one of us has pulled away, the other just hangs on and fights harder. We make eachother want to be better people. The biggest thing I need to work on is letting go of the past. I want to show Ben that I appreciate every sacrafice he has made for me and our family. I am really going to try to look past the small things and not get so huffy if the toilet seat is up ;) Anger is such a powerful emotions and it takes so much away from you. Our home is a place for laughter, love and security. I want God to be with us every step of the way. Start living more in the reflection of Jesus.

We have a very exciting month. Our friends, Frank and Tabitha are bringing their family to Hawaii for a vacation! They will not be staying with us but at least we will get the chance see old friends. :) Then on the 18th, Nikki and her family are coming to stay with us for a week! I am soooo excited to see her and spend a whole week with them.

1 month from today school starts! Hunter is starting kindergarten!!! I can't believe it.

Crazy Hunter is 5!!!

Hunter Lane : 6/16/06

Oh my Hunter man!

5! Really? I am in disbelief. Of my 3 boys, you are the hardest to explain. You are truly one of a kind. Hard headed, stubborn, free willed, and just funny. You will never understand just how much I love you. When you look in the mirror, you will see a lot of me. When you look at who you are, you will see your Dad. Almost every reason that made me fall in love with your Dad, you have. The ability to be a complete pain in the ass, and still make me laugh at the same time is pure talent.

You are so smart...brilliant. You have been READING for several months now!!! At 4 you could read! You can count like a pro with just a little help with the next tens place. You can sort by more than one attribute. Patterns are, as you say, easy peasy. You have always been a great at coloring and have great handwriting for your age. Still write some things backwards but we are working on it. I am so so so proud of you. You start Kindergarten August 1st at Iroquois Point Elementary! So excited! You ask almost everyday how much longer you have.

Next week is your last football game this season. You have been so awesome! Until just this past game, your team was undefeated. You have scored several touchdowns and pulled more flags than I can count. Truly amazing! When you get out on the field, you put your game face on. It is so incredible to watch. You are in your zone. Other parents are constantly telling us how awesome you are and how fast. We have nicknamed you Dash. :) Again...I am so proud of you! You are still in karate. It has taken you a while to get motivated. We are hoping to test for the yellow belt at the next exam. Swim lessons are next followed by soccer in August. Have to keep your wild self busy!

We have some difficulty with you understanding how to be a nice friend and little brother. We really need to figure out how to keep our hands to ourselves. Sometimes you just get in a mean mood and you refuse to be reasoned with. You are getting better though. I am learning to keep calm and take you aside and having a quiet talk about why you are mad. Even Mommy has some things to keep working on. ;) A part of me loves that you are hard headed. Shows me that no one is going to push you around. I believe with all my heart that you will go after your goals in life. That is so so so important to me. Settling for less is just not your thing.

Favorites...hmmm. You love lasagna, taco soup, Taco Bell, pizza, meatloaf and corn on the cob. Blue is of course the best color. You are so excited about Cars 2 coming out. We are going this weekend for a late birthday activity. Batman is currently you favorite hero. You love to do tricks on your 2 wheel bike and love riding your scooter too. You are wearing XS/S shirts and 4T/5 pants. Skinny thing!

As usual I am sure I have forgotten things. But to sum it up, you are incredible and Mommy is in awe of you all the time. You have so much personality and make me laugh all the time. It is hilarious when you come down the stairs in just your underware and start shaking your booty and dancing. My little entertainer. I love you Hunter Lane.

School and Faith

For starters...Summer break is here!!! Which is why I am finally blogging ;) Doesn't mean we are completely stopping school but definitely cutting back. Blake still has a lot to do in Math. NOT his strong subject at all. Another perfect example that just amazes me as far as seeing Ben and I in the boys. Blake may look like Ben but he has my personality. So I just assumed he would learn like me....WRONG! He is just like his Daddy. Great reader, but terrible at math. For some reason he just doesn't get it...even the simple things. Ugh. It is going to be a long road. :/ So we are going to start be extra proactive and work hard.

If you missed the announcement, the boys got into the school I wanted. I am really excited for this school year. I get to be a PTA mom!!! I plan to volunteer as much as possible. And maybe helping out at the school will help me to get my confidence back to teach again. May start subbing first and see if I am really done with teaching or if I just got burnt out. Definitely something that needs to be toyed with before I start something new and spend a fortune on school!

Serious note. Faith in God is something I have really struggled with for a while now. It was shaky in high school and then when I lost my Dad in took a nose dive. I was very angry for a long time. I felt like of all the people in the world, why my Dad? He gave his whole life to the Lord. Shared the Lord with hundreds of people every Sunday. Even during the 8 years he battled cancer, he believed that it was all God's plan and there was a reason. So why was he tortured for 8 years and then taken from me? I couldn't understand that. Then I had the boys and I was angry again because they never met their Grandpa. For those who don't know, I am talking about my adopted Dad. My mom and him married when I was little. He raised me. He loved me like I was his and never had too. That is so honorable to me. I would give anything just to see him with my boys. So with all that said, my relationship with God became very bitter. I became skeptical of everyone. My faith in everyone started disappearing. Now I look in the mirror and feel like I let the best parts of me disappear too. I used to be optimistic. I viewed the world as a wonderful place. I believed that people were genuinely good and trusted easily. I was a positive person who felt like if you work hard, good things will happen. I am starting to think that my spiral into negativity started when I pushed God out of my life. So I have made the decision to start exploring my relationship with him again. Ben and I went to church yesterday and really liked the very first one! Which is amazing. They have so many opportunities to explore your faith and get involved in making a difference in others too. I have no idea where this will take me but I am finally ready to stop questioning and start having a little faith. Few things in life have a guarantee, so why did I start demanding one. Ben is being so supportive. His beliefs and relationship with God are his own, I will support him in anything but I don't expect him to dive in just because I am. I just really appreciate his support and willingness to go with me and to share this with the boys. I feel really good about this new chapter. So here is to the better me!

Exciting....Linda is coming on Friday! The boys don't know she is coming. They will be so excited to see her. We are hoping to go camping again. We will definitely be snorkeling. :D

Happy Late Birthday Blake!

My 1st born turned 7 on Friday!!! This is the first chance I have gotten to write a note to my Blakers.

Blake Alan ~ May 27, 2004 ~ 8 lbs 13 oz

In the beginning you were a HUGE surprise! Your dad couldn't look at me without laughing for the first 24 hrs after finding out you were on your way. After the shock wore off, we were so excited. Everything in our lives became all about you. You taught us sooo much about life, priorities, and family. We became a little family with that surprise and our lives were instantly brightened.

When you were little you were so happy and curious. Everyone adored you. You had these big blue eyes and big kissable lips. Such a heart melter. You have grown into such a sweet boy. I love your kind heart and the way you still love to cuddle on the couch with me.

Sports, sports, and more sports! That is what you are all about! You love anything that can be turned into a game. So competitive! You are a natural athlete. Running is your favorite part. Determined to be the fastest there ever was. You are playing football right now but soccer is your favorite. You are also a yellow belt in Karate. The exam is coming up for the orange belt. I love that you are so active. The only bad part of that is that you eat more than I do already!!!

You are the BEST big brother. From the minute Hunter was born you were gentle and protective of him. The two of you fight all the time now but you are lost without each other when one is gone. Both you and Hunter and wonderful with Parker. You love to play with him and get excited when he does something new. I LOVE to watch you interact with him.

You love pizza. Some of your other favorites are taco soup, lasagna and spaghetti. Blue is not only your favorite color but it looks awesome on you too. You really like race cars, dinosaurs, Lego's and anything sports related.

What is going on in your life right now? Living in Hawaii is great for you. You have started snorkeling, boogie boarding and love the year round outside weather. I home schooled you this last semester but you are going back to public schools for 2nd grade. You are really excited about this. You will be going to Iroquois Point Elementary. If you could stay outside all day, you probably would. Our neighborhood is great for Hunter and you. You are able to go outside together and can go to the stop sign and back to the end of the street. There are so many kids on the street so you have lots of friends.

Still amaze me by how tall you are getting! You already come up to just below my collar bone! Yikes!!! At your checkup you weighed 61 pounds. Wearing medium shirts, size 7-8 shorts, and size 2 shoe. You just lost your 4th tooth last night. All on bottom. Sadly they are coming in crooked. Hopefully they will straighten out but most likely you will end up having braces. :( Just like your Daddy.

To close I just want you to know how much your Dad and I love you. We are so proud of the little man you are growing to be. I have no doubts that you will grow to be an amazing man. You have that drive to be the best. I love that. Reach for your dreams and never quit because things get tough. I love you Blake Alan! Happy 7th Birthday. :)

Snoreling, Sports and School

Seems like I haven't written about what has been going on with us in a while. My blogs have been more specific. So here is a catch up.

Things haven't been as adventurous lately, but I have to tell you about Blake. He LOVES snorkeling! He tried it the first time when Linda and Kenzie were here last month. Ever since he will spend a lot of time out in the bays/lagoons snorkeling. If we are at a beach with minimal waves that is what he is doing. We went to Turtle Bay last weekend. Blake went out with Ben for a while first and then came back in to play with his brothers. I went out for a bit and as i was coming back in, he came out wanting to go again. We swam all over the bay together. It was amazing. I can't even begin to explain the feeling I had. It was incredible to watch him explore and point out things he saw. He would follow some of the fish around. I loved watching him. He told me before we went in that he didn't like swimming over the rocks because there are a lot of the spiked ball looking things on them. The longer we were out there, the more brave he became. Such a wonderful experience for him and for me as a mom. :)

The boys have started flag football. This is the first time Hunter has been old enough to play football so he was really excited. He hasn't taken to karate as well as we had hoped. :/ He LOVES football though! And is doing really well. His first game he scored 3 touchdowns!!! Let's go Little Rascals! (I hate the team name...fyi) Blake is on the Tiger Sharks team. He too is doing well. He has been a little caught off guard this year though. He is one of the younger boys on his team. There are several that have played competitive ball before so they are more aggressive. In his first game the other team killed them. Intercepted the ball 3 times! yikes! So needless to say, our team has some word to do. They added an extra practice each week to try to help. Our games were canceled this weekend due to rain. Hopefully this will help them because they will have more practice time before the next game. I'll keep you posted.

We have made a huge decision. The boys are going to public school next year. I have very mixed feelings about this. I am concerned about the schools here. I have heard so many mixed things about them. I feel like we can accomplish more academically if I teach them at home. But there are so many things that I can't do. Children learn so much from each other, both in the classroom and on the playground. While not all of it is good, so much of it teaching them how to deal with life situations. I feel that the social part of kids is just as important as academics. The boys keep asking to go. Blake missing having his own group of friends and being able to interact with them daily. Hunter wants to experience what his big brother has. I think he wants to branch out and have his own friends too. Something that is his, not his brother's. Hunter needs to learn how to be without Blake. We also have a selfish reason too. Ben and I would like to have a little bit of time together. I will still have Parker but 1 is so much different than 3! We can throw Parker in the Kelty back pack and go on hikes that we can't with the boys. And if I feel that the boys are not getting what they should out of school, I will pull them back out. We feel that this is the best choice for Blake and Hunter right now.

The next part is which school? Their home school is not a good one. So I started researching the area school to try for a geographic exception. I looked at student scores, school size, teacher/student ratios and population. The closest school has better scores but is huge and white kids are the minority. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids being in a diverse school. I just don't want them to be part of the 12%. This school is also year round with tracks. I like year round if the whole school operates on one schedule. I am not a fan of tracks. Another school about 5 miles away has similar test scores, half the size, better teacher/student ratio, 50% white and a large number of military. That is the one we are trying for. We should find out if we get in within a week. So please keep your fingers crossed for us!

To My Mothers

What does it mean to be a mom? There are so many different answers to this question. To define what a mom is or what a mom should be is impossible. After all, have you ever met two mothers that were exactly the same? Mothers are just as different as all of the children out there. There are no right answers. I have 3 moms in my life. Each one is entirely different from the others and have taught me different things. I want to be their best qualities. And even if I fail at times, it is comforting to know that I can't be fired. ;) I just want to say a few things to each of them.

Mom, No matter what was going on in my life you were always behind me, believing in me. I don't think you have ever gone a week without telling me that you are proud of me. So many times I didn't see what was such a big deal...I didn't do anything special. But you still acted as though I had hung the moon. You would give me your advice but always stand back and let me make decisions for my life. I'm sure letting you little girl join the Army wasn't easy! I love where we are now. Friends. No matter what is going on in my life, I can call you and tell you all about it. I never feel judged by you. (Definitely not a trait that I inherited!) I love that thousands of miles apart, I still feel close to you. Just a phone call away. I love you, Mother Marie.


Kim, my other mother :) I honestly can't even remember how old I was when you came into my life. I am so grateful to you for so many reasons. The thing that I cherish the most is the difference you made in my Dad. I absolutely love to see you together. To see him loved and happy. But it is more than that. You not only love my Dad unconditionally but me too. I have never felt like anything less than your daughter. From you, I have learned what it means to sacrifice yourself for the ones you love. You love with every ounce of yourself. So many times I have talked to you and could hear the pure exhaustion in your voice. But you are still trying to figure out ways to help one of us kids or other family/friends. You are so selfless. Even though I am hard headed and refuse to ask for help...I always knew you were there. I knew I had a safety net in you and Dad. I love you, Maw.

Linda, my MIL. I was just a kid when our lives merged. You basically helped raise me too. I will always feel indebted to you. Because of you, I am married to the most amazing man. I absolutely love how our relationship has changed over the last almost 12 years. In the beginning I was just your son's girlfriend. I'm sure you never expected to be stuck with me. ;) Now you are one of my closest friends. You treat me like your daughter, not just your son's wife. I love that. I love our long talks and all the memories we have made along the way. Since the day Ben and I said "I do", you have been our biggest supporter. Not sure we could have made it to this point without you.Your strength and independence inspires me. I do have to say though...if Blake or Hunter tells me one more time that they want to go live with Maw Maw, I may just have to send them your way. ;) I love you. Thank you for everything.


Blake, Hunter and Parker, to be your mom is the greatest gift in the whole world. I have learned more from the 3 of you than anyone or anything. Here is my promise to you. I will always be here, I will always believe in you, support you and love you with all I have. You and your father are the joy in my life. I want to cherish every moment with you.

To all the other moms out there. Remember that there isn't a cookie cutter mom. We are all handmade. Each one formed differently with different ingredients. So instead of worrying about what we should be, focus on passing down the best qualities of you. In the end, all our children really need is love. Happy Mother's Day.

The most amazing date with an incredible man :)

There is no way I can go without talking about our date. I have actually wanted to write about Ben in general. I love him...I really, really love him. We have been together for almost 12 years and married for almost 9! Remind you, I'm only 27. I barely remember a life without him. So many people said we would never make it. But here is why we do...why I love him so much.

EVERYTHING we do is as a team. We both raise our boys, we both clean the house and WE make decisions about what we do and want to try to do together. Ben has changed just as many diapers as I have, he does laundry, the dishes, I don't dust...he does. But this is just the start.

Ben continues to amaze me. I am a very emotionally needy person. I hate this about myself but it's true. I am insecure and get jealous very easily. While I feel like there are tons of reasons for this, it is still difficult to live with. He shows me how much he loves me. When I want to talk he does. Not saying we don't fight but we are open with eachother. We have both learned that the grass isn't greener on the other side. We are very compatible and really have a chance to be the happily ever after. Ben used to think that fairy tales were completely retarded. I think I have taught him that they can be real...you just have to know when to recognize them and fight with all you have to keep them.

With that said...on to our date. We have not left our boys since the Probowl. A night out was WAY past due. Ben first took me to the west coast. We went out on the rocks to sit and watch the sunset. It was so beautiful.

What made this even more amazing is that we got to watch a sea turtle swim around below us! The whole time we were there watching the sunset, a turtle kept popping up and swimming around. It was so fun to watch. Anytime one of us would get distracted, the other would spot him. I can't even begin to explain what those moments meant to me. The little booger was impossible to photograph though. We only had one of the small cameras of which has a LONG delay. So everytime we would try to take a picture he would dive back down. :(

This is the best picture we could get.

After the sunset we went to dinner at Roy's. It is located within the Ko'Olina Resort area. Very good! It is pricey but the food is awesome. I had the macadamia nut crusted swordfish. Mmmm. I'm not even a big seafood person. We had a wonderful dinner and then went and had a few drinks after. I love that after this long we can still sit for hours talking. It is so easy for me to imagine our future. One thing that has helped us along the way is that our dreams continue to be the same. So many young couple grow apart...but we grew together. We really want the same things out of life. I know that when we are 70 and 72, after a day of photography or painting for me and a day of fishing or golfing for him, we will sit on our front porch hand in hand.

For now we are making the most out of the time we have. Our family is precious and we are fully aware of that. Right now I have everything I ever dreamed of. My prince, 3 perfect boys and a life of opportunity. And it has just begun ;)