For starters...Summer break is here!!! Which is why I am finally blogging ;) Doesn't mean we are completely stopping school but definitely cutting back. Blake still has a lot to do in Math. NOT his strong subject at all. Another perfect example that just amazes me as far as seeing Ben and I in the boys. Blake may look like Ben but he has my personality. So I just assumed he would learn like me....WRONG! He is just like his Daddy. Great reader, but terrible at math. For some reason he just doesn't get it...even the simple things. Ugh. It is going to be a long road. :/ So we are going to start be extra proactive and work hard.
If you missed the announcement, the boys got into the school I wanted. I am really excited for this school year. I get to be a PTA mom!!! I plan to volunteer as much as possible. And maybe helping out at the school will help me to get my confidence back to teach again. May start subbing first and see if I am really done with teaching or if I just got burnt out. Definitely something that needs to be toyed with before I start something new and spend a fortune on school!
Serious note. Faith in God is something I have really struggled with for a while now. It was shaky in high school and then when I lost my Dad in took a nose dive. I was very angry for a long time. I felt like of all the people in the world, why my Dad? He gave his whole life to the Lord. Shared the Lord with hundreds of people every Sunday. Even during the 8 years he battled cancer, he believed that it was all God's plan and there was a reason. So why was he tortured for 8 years and then taken from me? I couldn't understand that. Then I had the boys and I was angry again because they never met their Grandpa. For those who don't know, I am talking about my adopted Dad. My mom and him married when I was little. He raised me. He loved me like I was his and never had too. That is so honorable to me. I would give anything just to see him with my boys. So with all that said, my relationship with God became very bitter. I became skeptical of everyone. My faith in everyone started disappearing. Now I look in the mirror and feel like I let the best parts of me disappear too. I used to be optimistic. I viewed the world as a wonderful place. I believed that people were genuinely good and trusted easily. I was a positive person who felt like if you work hard, good things will happen. I am starting to think that my spiral into negativity started when I pushed God out of my life. So I have made the decision to start exploring my relationship with him again. Ben and I went to church yesterday and really liked the very first one! Which is amazing. They have so many opportunities to explore your faith and get involved in making a difference in others too. I have no idea where this will take me but I am finally ready to stop questioning and start having a little faith. Few things in life have a guarantee, so why did I start demanding one. Ben is being so supportive. His beliefs and relationship with God are his own, I will support him in anything but I don't expect him to dive in just because I am. I just really appreciate his support and willingness to go with me and to share this with the boys. I feel really good about this new chapter. So here is to the better me!
Exciting....Linda is coming on Friday! The boys don't know she is coming. They will be so excited to see her. We are hoping to go camping again. We will definitely be snorkeling. :D
Monday, May 30, 2011
Happy Late Birthday Blake!
My 1st born turned 7 on Friday!!! This is the first chance I have gotten to write a note to my Blakers.
Blake Alan ~ May 27, 2004 ~ 8 lbs 13 oz
In the beginning you were a HUGE surprise! Your dad couldn't look at me without laughing for the first 24 hrs after finding out you were on your way. After the shock wore off, we were so excited. Everything in our lives became all about you. You taught us sooo much about life, priorities, and family. We became a little family with that surprise and our lives were instantly brightened.
When you were little you were so happy and curious. Everyone adored you. You had these big blue eyes and big kissable lips. Such a heart melter. You have grown into such a sweet boy. I love your kind heart and the way you still love to cuddle on the couch with me.
Sports, sports, and more sports! That is what you are all about! You love anything that can be turned into a game. So competitive! You are a natural athlete. Running is your favorite part. Determined to be the fastest there ever was. You are playing football right now but soccer is your favorite. You are also a yellow belt in Karate. The exam is coming up for the orange belt. I love that you are so active. The only bad part of that is that you eat more than I do already!!!
You are the BEST big brother. From the minute Hunter was born you were gentle and protective of him. The two of you fight all the time now but you are lost without each other when one is gone. Both you and Hunter and wonderful with Parker. You love to play with him and get excited when he does something new. I LOVE to watch you interact with him.
You love pizza. Some of your other favorites are taco soup, lasagna and spaghetti. Blue is not only your favorite color but it looks awesome on you too. You really like race cars, dinosaurs, Lego's and anything sports related.
What is going on in your life right now? Living in Hawaii is great for you. You have started snorkeling, boogie boarding and love the year round outside weather. I home schooled you this last semester but you are going back to public schools for 2nd grade. You are really excited about this. You will be going to Iroquois Point Elementary. If you could stay outside all day, you probably would. Our neighborhood is great for Hunter and you. You are able to go outside together and can go to the stop sign and back to the end of the street. There are so many kids on the street so you have lots of friends.
Still amaze me by how tall you are getting! You already come up to just below my collar bone! Yikes!!! At your checkup you weighed 61 pounds. Wearing medium shirts, size 7-8 shorts, and size 2 shoe. You just lost your 4th tooth last night. All on bottom. Sadly they are coming in crooked. Hopefully they will straighten out but most likely you will end up having braces. :( Just like your Daddy.
To close I just want you to know how much your Dad and I love you. We are so proud of the little man you are growing to be. I have no doubts that you will grow to be an amazing man. You have that drive to be the best. I love that. Reach for your dreams and never quit because things get tough. I love you Blake Alan! Happy 7th Birthday. :)
Blake Alan ~ May 27, 2004 ~ 8 lbs 13 oz
In the beginning you were a HUGE surprise! Your dad couldn't look at me without laughing for the first 24 hrs after finding out you were on your way. After the shock wore off, we were so excited. Everything in our lives became all about you. You taught us sooo much about life, priorities, and family. We became a little family with that surprise and our lives were instantly brightened.
When you were little you were so happy and curious. Everyone adored you. You had these big blue eyes and big kissable lips. Such a heart melter. You have grown into such a sweet boy. I love your kind heart and the way you still love to cuddle on the couch with me.
Sports, sports, and more sports! That is what you are all about! You love anything that can be turned into a game. So competitive! You are a natural athlete. Running is your favorite part. Determined to be the fastest there ever was. You are playing football right now but soccer is your favorite. You are also a yellow belt in Karate. The exam is coming up for the orange belt. I love that you are so active. The only bad part of that is that you eat more than I do already!!!
You are the BEST big brother. From the minute Hunter was born you were gentle and protective of him. The two of you fight all the time now but you are lost without each other when one is gone. Both you and Hunter and wonderful with Parker. You love to play with him and get excited when he does something new. I LOVE to watch you interact with him.
You love pizza. Some of your other favorites are taco soup, lasagna and spaghetti. Blue is not only your favorite color but it looks awesome on you too. You really like race cars, dinosaurs, Lego's and anything sports related.
What is going on in your life right now? Living in Hawaii is great for you. You have started snorkeling, boogie boarding and love the year round outside weather. I home schooled you this last semester but you are going back to public schools for 2nd grade. You are really excited about this. You will be going to Iroquois Point Elementary. If you could stay outside all day, you probably would. Our neighborhood is great for Hunter and you. You are able to go outside together and can go to the stop sign and back to the end of the street. There are so many kids on the street so you have lots of friends.
Still amaze me by how tall you are getting! You already come up to just below my collar bone! Yikes!!! At your checkup you weighed 61 pounds. Wearing medium shirts, size 7-8 shorts, and size 2 shoe. You just lost your 4th tooth last night. All on bottom. Sadly they are coming in crooked. Hopefully they will straighten out but most likely you will end up having braces. :( Just like your Daddy.
To close I just want you to know how much your Dad and I love you. We are so proud of the little man you are growing to be. I have no doubts that you will grow to be an amazing man. You have that drive to be the best. I love that. Reach for your dreams and never quit because things get tough. I love you Blake Alan! Happy 7th Birthday. :)
Monday, May 9, 2011
Snoreling, Sports and School
Seems like I haven't written about what has been going on with us in a while. My blogs have been more specific. So here is a catch up.
Things haven't been as adventurous lately, but I have to tell you about Blake. He LOVES snorkeling! He tried it the first time when Linda and Kenzie were here last month. Ever since he will spend a lot of time out in the bays/lagoons snorkeling. If we are at a beach with minimal waves that is what he is doing. We went to Turtle Bay last weekend. Blake went out with Ben for a while first and then came back in to play with his brothers. I went out for a bit and as i was coming back in, he came out wanting to go again. We swam all over the bay together. It was amazing. I can't even begin to explain the feeling I had. It was incredible to watch him explore and point out things he saw. He would follow some of the fish around. I loved watching him. He told me before we went in that he didn't like swimming over the rocks because there are a lot of the spiked ball looking things on them. The longer we were out there, the more brave he became. Such a wonderful experience for him and for me as a mom. :)
The boys have started flag football. This is the first time Hunter has been old enough to play football so he was really excited. He hasn't taken to karate as well as we had hoped. :/ He LOVES football though! And is doing really well. His first game he scored 3 touchdowns!!! Let's go Little Rascals! (I hate the team name...fyi) Blake is on the Tiger Sharks team. He too is doing well. He has been a little caught off guard this year though. He is one of the younger boys on his team. There are several that have played competitive ball before so they are more aggressive. In his first game the other team killed them. Intercepted the ball 3 times! yikes! So needless to say, our team has some word to do. They added an extra practice each week to try to help. Our games were canceled this weekend due to rain. Hopefully this will help them because they will have more practice time before the next game. I'll keep you posted.
We have made a huge decision. The boys are going to public school next year. I have very mixed feelings about this. I am concerned about the schools here. I have heard so many mixed things about them. I feel like we can accomplish more academically if I teach them at home. But there are so many things that I can't do. Children learn so much from each other, both in the classroom and on the playground. While not all of it is good, so much of it teaching them how to deal with life situations. I feel that the social part of kids is just as important as academics. The boys keep asking to go. Blake missing having his own group of friends and being able to interact with them daily. Hunter wants to experience what his big brother has. I think he wants to branch out and have his own friends too. Something that is his, not his brother's. Hunter needs to learn how to be without Blake. We also have a selfish reason too. Ben and I would like to have a little bit of time together. I will still have Parker but 1 is so much different than 3! We can throw Parker in the Kelty back pack and go on hikes that we can't with the boys. And if I feel that the boys are not getting what they should out of school, I will pull them back out. We feel that this is the best choice for Blake and Hunter right now.
The next part is which school? Their home school is not a good one. So I started researching the area school to try for a geographic exception. I looked at student scores, school size, teacher/student ratios and population. The closest school has better scores but is huge and white kids are the minority. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids being in a diverse school. I just don't want them to be part of the 12%. This school is also year round with tracks. I like year round if the whole school operates on one schedule. I am not a fan of tracks. Another school about 5 miles away has similar test scores, half the size, better teacher/student ratio, 50% white and a large number of military. That is the one we are trying for. We should find out if we get in within a week. So please keep your fingers crossed for us!
Things haven't been as adventurous lately, but I have to tell you about Blake. He LOVES snorkeling! He tried it the first time when Linda and Kenzie were here last month. Ever since he will spend a lot of time out in the bays/lagoons snorkeling. If we are at a beach with minimal waves that is what he is doing. We went to Turtle Bay last weekend. Blake went out with Ben for a while first and then came back in to play with his brothers. I went out for a bit and as i was coming back in, he came out wanting to go again. We swam all over the bay together. It was amazing. I can't even begin to explain the feeling I had. It was incredible to watch him explore and point out things he saw. He would follow some of the fish around. I loved watching him. He told me before we went in that he didn't like swimming over the rocks because there are a lot of the spiked ball looking things on them. The longer we were out there, the more brave he became. Such a wonderful experience for him and for me as a mom. :)
The boys have started flag football. This is the first time Hunter has been old enough to play football so he was really excited. He hasn't taken to karate as well as we had hoped. :/ He LOVES football though! And is doing really well. His first game he scored 3 touchdowns!!! Let's go Little Rascals! (I hate the team name...fyi) Blake is on the Tiger Sharks team. He too is doing well. He has been a little caught off guard this year though. He is one of the younger boys on his team. There are several that have played competitive ball before so they are more aggressive. In his first game the other team killed them. Intercepted the ball 3 times! yikes! So needless to say, our team has some word to do. They added an extra practice each week to try to help. Our games were canceled this weekend due to rain. Hopefully this will help them because they will have more practice time before the next game. I'll keep you posted.
We have made a huge decision. The boys are going to public school next year. I have very mixed feelings about this. I am concerned about the schools here. I have heard so many mixed things about them. I feel like we can accomplish more academically if I teach them at home. But there are so many things that I can't do. Children learn so much from each other, both in the classroom and on the playground. While not all of it is good, so much of it teaching them how to deal with life situations. I feel that the social part of kids is just as important as academics. The boys keep asking to go. Blake missing having his own group of friends and being able to interact with them daily. Hunter wants to experience what his big brother has. I think he wants to branch out and have his own friends too. Something that is his, not his brother's. Hunter needs to learn how to be without Blake. We also have a selfish reason too. Ben and I would like to have a little bit of time together. I will still have Parker but 1 is so much different than 3! We can throw Parker in the Kelty back pack and go on hikes that we can't with the boys. And if I feel that the boys are not getting what they should out of school, I will pull them back out. We feel that this is the best choice for Blake and Hunter right now.
The next part is which school? Their home school is not a good one. So I started researching the area school to try for a geographic exception. I looked at student scores, school size, teacher/student ratios and population. The closest school has better scores but is huge and white kids are the minority. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids being in a diverse school. I just don't want them to be part of the 12%. This school is also year round with tracks. I like year round if the whole school operates on one schedule. I am not a fan of tracks. Another school about 5 miles away has similar test scores, half the size, better teacher/student ratio, 50% white and a large number of military. That is the one we are trying for. We should find out if we get in within a week. So please keep your fingers crossed for us!
Sunday, May 8, 2011
To My Mothers
What does it mean to be a mom? There are so many different answers to this question. To define what a mom is or what a mom should be is impossible. After all, have you ever met two mothers that were exactly the same? Mothers are just as different as all of the children out there. There are no right answers. I have 3 moms in my life. Each one is entirely different from the others and have taught me different things. I want to be their best qualities. And even if I fail at times, it is comforting to know that I can't be fired. ;) I just want to say a few things to each of them.
Mom, No matter what was going on in my life you were always behind me, believing in me. I don't think you have ever gone a week without telling me that you are proud of me. So many times I didn't see what was such a big deal...I didn't do anything special. But you still acted as though I had hung the moon. You would give me your advice but always stand back and let me make decisions for my life. I'm sure letting you little girl join the Army wasn't easy! I love where we are now. Friends. No matter what is going on in my life, I can call you and tell you all about it. I never feel judged by you. (Definitely not a trait that I inherited!) I love that thousands of miles apart, I still feel close to you. Just a phone call away. I love you, Mother Marie.
Kim, my other mother :) I honestly can't even remember how old I was when you came into my life. I am so grateful to you for so many reasons. The thing that I cherish the most is the difference you made in my Dad. I absolutely love to see you together. To see him loved and happy. But it is more than that. You not only love my Dad unconditionally but me too. I have never felt like anything less than your daughter. From you, I have learned what it means to sacrifice yourself for the ones you love. You love with every ounce of yourself. So many times I have talked to you and could hear the pure exhaustion in your voice. But you are still trying to figure out ways to help one of us kids or other family/friends. You are so selfless. Even though I am hard headed and refuse to ask for help...I always knew you were there. I knew I had a safety net in you and Dad. I love you, Maw.
Linda, my MIL. I was just a kid when our lives merged. You basically helped raise me too. I will always feel indebted to you. Because of you, I am married to the most amazing man. I absolutely love how our relationship has changed over the last almost 12 years. In the beginning I was just your son's girlfriend. I'm sure you never expected to be stuck with me. ;) Now you are one of my closest friends. You treat me like your daughter, not just your son's wife. I love that. I love our long talks and all the memories we have made along the way. Since the day Ben and I said "I do", you have been our biggest supporter. Not sure we could have made it to this point without you.Your strength and independence inspires me. I do have to say though...if Blake or Hunter tells me one more time that they want to go live with Maw Maw, I may just have to send them your way. ;) I love you. Thank you for everything.
Blake, Hunter and Parker, to be your mom is the greatest gift in the whole world. I have learned more from the 3 of you than anyone or anything. Here is my promise to you. I will always be here, I will always believe in you, support you and love you with all I have. You and your father are the joy in my life. I want to cherish every moment with you.
To all the other moms out there. Remember that there isn't a cookie cutter mom. We are all handmade. Each one formed differently with different ingredients. So instead of worrying about what we should be, focus on passing down the best qualities of you. In the end, all our children really need is love. Happy Mother's Day.
Mom, No matter what was going on in my life you were always behind me, believing in me. I don't think you have ever gone a week without telling me that you are proud of me. So many times I didn't see what was such a big deal...I didn't do anything special. But you still acted as though I had hung the moon. You would give me your advice but always stand back and let me make decisions for my life. I'm sure letting you little girl join the Army wasn't easy! I love where we are now. Friends. No matter what is going on in my life, I can call you and tell you all about it. I never feel judged by you. (Definitely not a trait that I inherited!) I love that thousands of miles apart, I still feel close to you. Just a phone call away. I love you, Mother Marie.
Kim, my other mother :) I honestly can't even remember how old I was when you came into my life. I am so grateful to you for so many reasons. The thing that I cherish the most is the difference you made in my Dad. I absolutely love to see you together. To see him loved and happy. But it is more than that. You not only love my Dad unconditionally but me too. I have never felt like anything less than your daughter. From you, I have learned what it means to sacrifice yourself for the ones you love. You love with every ounce of yourself. So many times I have talked to you and could hear the pure exhaustion in your voice. But you are still trying to figure out ways to help one of us kids or other family/friends. You are so selfless. Even though I am hard headed and refuse to ask for help...I always knew you were there. I knew I had a safety net in you and Dad. I love you, Maw.
Linda, my MIL. I was just a kid when our lives merged. You basically helped raise me too. I will always feel indebted to you. Because of you, I am married to the most amazing man. I absolutely love how our relationship has changed over the last almost 12 years. In the beginning I was just your son's girlfriend. I'm sure you never expected to be stuck with me. ;) Now you are one of my closest friends. You treat me like your daughter, not just your son's wife. I love that. I love our long talks and all the memories we have made along the way. Since the day Ben and I said "I do", you have been our biggest supporter. Not sure we could have made it to this point without you.Your strength and independence inspires me. I do have to say though...if Blake or Hunter tells me one more time that they want to go live with Maw Maw, I may just have to send them your way. ;) I love you. Thank you for everything.
Blake, Hunter and Parker, to be your mom is the greatest gift in the whole world. I have learned more from the 3 of you than anyone or anything. Here is my promise to you. I will always be here, I will always believe in you, support you and love you with all I have. You and your father are the joy in my life. I want to cherish every moment with you.
To all the other moms out there. Remember that there isn't a cookie cutter mom. We are all handmade. Each one formed differently with different ingredients. So instead of worrying about what we should be, focus on passing down the best qualities of you. In the end, all our children really need is love. Happy Mother's Day.
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